Hey everyone who reads or even just looks at my posts, I know I promised I would be doing one daily but life seriously this week has got in the way. I am not the greatest person in the world and even thought I may sound sometimes like I have my life together I am far from it. This last few months are here to prove it.
My husband has had 8 jobs in 2 years, yes you have read that right. He has bounced from job to job to job. I have major seperation anxity when it comes to my children and I will be the first to admit it, so for the last 9 years I have spent at home as a stay-at-home mom. So needless to say me going back to the workforce now is uesless, as I really have NO employability skills.
The last month has been the worst off for us, I have hit rock bottom I cannot go any further down then I have right now. As I sit here writing this my kids are downstairs eating the last package of 12 hotdogs, this morning they fought the feeling of hunger till 1130, Just so they could have popcorn for lunch. Yupp right now I sit here writting this so broke that I cannot feed my children this week. I cannot afford the gas in my van to get my husband to work for the week. I have exhausted all my resources, I have borrowed from EVERYONE I know to keep my family alive for the last 4 months that my husband's work slowed down.
June 5th we got news that we could rent a home that would help our daughter extreamly well with her mental health and healing all those feelings she is having. So I have been super excited, here is the kicker, WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY. We can pay the rent, monthly but we cannot pay the $3200 required up front. As it stands right now, My husbands car is shut down for non-payment, my van is next, we have an eviction notice on our current home for July 4th. So either way as of the 4th of July, I will be homeless.
Today though Today was the worst, I have never been so scared to not feed my family. The worst part about this whole situation is that I am here thanks to everyone else. I run a dayhome, which was very sucessful until this year, this year families that always paid on time needed sometime to pay there montly fees, and yes I am a bit of a push over and allowed it once. Which has now carried on to a year, I currently sit here with the fear of starving kids this week and have $500 owed to me and a family whom makes good money not paying it to me.
I am not looking for sympathy from anyone reading this, as I said I will post this as you are my friend and I need to vent and if you are following me you will get to see all my highs and lows and unfortuatly this is my low. I want to say I vow to change my life around, start making budgets and making sure this NEVER happens again. Realistically I have NO idea where to start!! If anybody out there is truly reading this has any suggestions please please leave them.
I... to be truthful was hoping to either become a youtube sensation or make money blogging, truthfully that is not going to happen. I do however have a good idea for a little side job to make us some money, but again it will cost me an intial investment of $500 and NO its not a get rich quick business. It's a legit idea that I think may be a good one, I need to buy a shilouette curio and I am hoping to start a t-shirt business. Well my kids have eaten for the 3rd time today and I am glad. I on the other hand am starving, but I am better to starve then my children. If you have made it this far thank you for listening, if not thats ok for me too. I just needed to vent and let it out.
Here's to hoping that by some stroke of luck that I will find some money and be OK! chances are that I will not, and that really sucks.
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