Opps it was a busy weekend!

 So again life gets in the way, We live in Alberta where there has been alot of economy turn down. We are originally from Ontario, until 3 years ago when we decided to make the big Journey to Alberta.

  My husband works as a hydro-vac swamper and with this job comes really good times and really hard times. This year was his first year of truly working as a full time swamper. He had done it prior but always seemed to find something that worked a bit better and he didn't have to be outdoors all the time. So this year during the winter he was making good money, and like many families prior to this we have always lived paycheck to paycheck with no savings. He had finally found a good job and was making decent cash, that we were actually considering things like family trips and having a savings account. Well then spring break up came which was only suppose to last 2-3 weeks Max. That was mid April, by Mid May he still hadn't worked a single day and things were starting to get dicey, so he applied to another company whom said o yes we have tonnes of work coming up. Turns out they were just as slow, now we are into mid June and my husband hasn't work a consecutive week yet. So needless to say despite all my best efforts on friday, our power was disconnected. Lucky that we had been paid and got it paid right away and now we are good again. I have never been so far behind in my entire life that, I am not going to start researching how to money save even more then what we are.

 Anyways back to my weekend. So Saturday was cleaning day and if your like me you dread this day always, I cleaned and made my daughter a new Gymkhana shirt, you will see it later and how it went cause, so far I can do it up on her neck but not over her belly  ( opps) I am a self taught sewer (thanks to Youtube) so I learn as I go and every-time I am unsure of a stitch or what it is asking I head over and look for a video to describe how to do it. At about noon we found out that right across the raod from us at the Co-Op gas station they were doing a little car show. There were bouncy castles, face painting and giveaways. We ran over to that and spent a good few hours there. I then decided that I would take my so in the store for a FurReal Milk shake, well that was a bad idea. I forgot that my husband did not link the savings account to my debit card, I frantically called him at work and he was on standby so he called the bank to get it to work. Still nothing 20 minutes later and half a milk shake drank, I came home and told them at the store I just had to get my other card. That card I needed was in my wallet, which was in the van, that my husband had at work. To top it all off my phone was dead so I couldn't even call my husband. I sent him a message on Facebook. It basically said, when you get home you will have to call around and find the kids as I am going to be arrested for stealing, His message back was LOL !!!! LOL are you kidding me I am in tears here, this is not an LOL moment. A few minutes later he messaged me back and said I called the store and will stop and pay on my way by after work. Whew, Thank god I was so mortified, that I was irrationally thinking I was going to jail!!!  When my husband finally got home and Saturday it was so late that we didn't do anything at all. We watched a movie as he still laughed at me about my over exaggeration for the whole situation

 Sunday, was Father's day and our 6 year anniversary ( even thought there were times I didn't think we would make it, I still love that big mammoth). Well we spent the entire day with my daughter at Gymkhana and let me say that I am one proud mama at this point. I am going to figure out how to post two video's one of her very first Gymkhana and one of yesterday and the transformation is truly AMAZING!!  Nick didn't complain so much about being there this time and Ryland has found a love for helping set up an run the flag event (it could be because he gets something free from the canteen afterwards) After Gymkhana we came right home, dropped the dog off and made our way back to Wal-Mart for something for supper. As we went in we went the wrong direction first, which you would think after 9 years of knowing DO NOT GO BY THE TOYS!! I solomly wandered by the toys. Now I swore I would not get my kids a fidget spinner, I think they are great for there original intended use. As a toy not so much, well guess what this no good for nothing mother did!!! gave in and bought each child a fidget spinner, One which lights up. I feel like yupp now my kids know that I am yet again a push over and if they complain and moan long enough Mom will soon give in. I try, I really do try my hardest to be there friend as well as mom. I am failing horribly. Well we got our anniversary supper Wal-Mart had on a pretty sweet deal on steaks. Two huge stakes for  $16.00, We also had corn on the cob and baked potato's. My kids because this Mom, didn't want to deal with the I don't like that speech gave in last night and they got McDonald's.

 Here I thought finally it is 10 at night I am putting my kids to bed, maybe me and my husband can have some alone time.... NOPE A has now came into my room a total of 10 times, and yes I counted. Let me remind you that she is 9, she knows better and does not need to act like a 2 year old, Mom can I just sleep on my brother's floor I am scared. Scared of what? The Dark.... ARE YOU EVER LOVING KIDDING ME!!!! It's Alberta, its 10 at night ... ITS STILL DAYLIGHT!!!! GO TO BED!! Just as that "quiet time" fun begins again, the door creeks open, A-Mom I still cant sleep. By this time I am fuming. FINE A whatever go do whatever you need to do to go to sleep. I don't care at this point go watch T.V. Mom and Dad are tired as it is now 11:30!!! by now all "quiet time" fun and mood has been lost 😒. Nick heads downstairs for a drink and low and behold, A has gone into R's room and woke him up because she was afraid to be alone downstairs, and they are both watching T.V. They were both told that Daddy needed to leave for work at 6 and they would be getting up with him.

 This morning I had two of the most hateful children to ship off to school, and as they climbed on the bus and I waved good-bye all I could think was, Sorry teachers, but you need at least one more bad day before schools out. So now I have got you all caught up to my Monday. I will post tonight what my day was like.


 I keep seeing that a few people are looking at my blogs now and then, I would love to hear from you!!! leave me a comment even if its a simple Hello!!


The Crazy, giving in , push over, Poor .... MAMA Blogger Sue

This is the last Gymkhana 

                                                             Her very first gymkhana

A bit of what I have been up to.

  So last night was uneventful, as such is most of your days too. After running my dayhome all day, I made my kids supper, after they had a pudding, bear paw, some leftover popcorn from there lunch. I had to fight with them to eat chicken and potato's. After supper they both asked if for dessert they could have popcorn, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!! My response was NO, you can have more chicken.

  After that fight it was now time for a bath and/or shower, and its like pulling teeth. I remember at 9 my mother complaining about me using to much hot water and leaving some for the fish. My 9 year old will go a week without showering or when asked to shower will jump in for  minutes, let the water run over her, no soap, no shampoo 😨 . Please tell me how to explain to a 9 year old ( very emotional) that she stinks, cause if I say it she will loose her shit on me and the world will come to an end.

 This brings me to the story of my 9 years life for the last 2 years and how when I say emotional and what we do may seem like we are walking on egg shells around here will help you to make sense why.
   If you remember in my first blog I mentioned she loved horses, when we moved to Alberta in 2014, I left behind my two horses and I vowed that we would not get into horses again. Well needless to say that April we were back into horses and taking English riding lessons at a local barn. While she was taking lessons everything was fine and dandy. While we were taking lessons, low and behold her dream pony arrived for reconditioning and we were suddenly interested. After purchasing Gordie, things took a change. First Alexis fell off and went 3 weeks not being allowed to ride him, everyone around the barn said yes he is a fast pony and loved his jumping job and if you were not seasoned you will eat dirty.
 Alexis became very fearful of her pony and falling again, while she started lessons again, her fear ate away at her and she refused to canter on him and was kicked out of multiple lessons and made to feel as she was incompetent. I can say that I may have had a part in some of this as I just didn't understand how she went from this fearless cowgirl to a very timid rider, whom looked like she had never done this before.
Finally after 3 long months of not cantering, she was back, she was flying around the arena with ease. I had taken on doing barn chores in order to cut costs and allow her to follow her dreams. So I wasn't at lessons as much as I wanted to be because the horses were on a scheduled and it needed to be done in that time frame. She would come in with a sad look in her face and sheer disappointment, telling me she was no good and that she got kicked out of yet again another lesson, That I should mention I paid full price for. Finally I said enough is enough and I went and watched a few lesson's, I knew the instructor was being a bit tough on her but it was also sort of making her a better rider. Also in this time we learned about her Kyphosis and she got her back brace, which made a difference in her being told to sit up straight and us understanding  that she was doing her best. The high expectations seemed to be lowered ALOT!!

 Skip forward, of more belittling, We went into the parade and we knew her pony was going to be a dink so we thought for sure we would be put into the middle of a group of horses whom were naturals at this whole parade thing, nope we were added to the end. Thank goodness my husband was there to help because at one point a street sweeper went by us and he lost his shit, it took two of us to hold on to him as my daughter sat on top of him. The instructor rode over to Alexis and told her it was her fault she wasn't controlling him. We decided at that moment to cut back on the lessons and take a step out. Another huge jump and a breaking point, In February of 2016, my daughter was doing a jumping lesson with 6 other kids, ALL the kids were knocking the rail, Aleixs rides up knocks the rail and is screamed at by her coach to get off and pick it up NOW!! and as she is picking it up she is being nit picked on. Next thing this little bitch ( pardon my language) does is pulls all 5 other kids in and says watch Alexis, as Alexis crosses the jump she yells WRONG DO IT AGAIN, over and over and over again. That night we went home wrote our notice and that weekend we moved the horse. We went to another barn that was a great place, but very new and she had no friends there.

  In April of 2017, my daughter and I had a regular mother daughter fight about putting cloths away which turned into the most devastating day of my life this far. My 9 year old curled up under her pillows and blankets and cried and cried hard!. I went to her and apologized, she said "its ok Mommy, I understand that I should not be alive anymore, and I would just like to die" I was taken back and I started asking questions getting to the bottom of this problem. There were issues at school, my yelling at her, but it all boiled down to this instructor that had made her feel worthless. I immediately contacted the school, they then informed me that she has no friends at school and what her perception of what is happening at school is not what was actually happening. I took the weekend to get my poop in a group and made the decision that she would be home-schooled. I also took it upon my self to find a new place for the horse.

 This is where her life is slowly changing, we moved to just someone's house, who had a child her age. Alexis loved it there.. She introduced us to the Golden Spur Gymkhana club, I will say we were really reluctant to go because we didn't want to get into a situation where there were clicks and she was going to be judged again. This club all its members, have welcomed Alexis with open arms and treated her like family. She has gained her confidence back and now rides her horse like she stole him. We have since then recently got a rental in which the barn is on the property and the horse will be moved there. I cannot wait for our adventures to continue and to bring you along for the ride.

 I just want to say to all you mom out there, Stay strong, you know what is right for your kids. Should you find yourself in a situation like I was remember don't be ashamed, reach out... reach out to your local moms, friends, school, help lines. Don't let you child's feelings go unnoticed.